Rookie Painter Devastated to Learn Tom Sawyer’s Trick Doesn’t Work

FLORI­DA, MO – After read­ing Mark Twain’s clas­sic nov­el in his sopho­more Eng­lish class, Sam Clement (18) thought he had devel­oped the per­fect busi­ness mod­el. Straight out of high school, Clement opened a paint­ing com­pa­ny. And what was his bril­liant plan? He didn’t hire any painters!  Inspired by Tom Sawyer, Clement devel­oped a strat­e­gy for com­plet­ing paint­ing jobs with­out any painters on staff. At his first house paint­ing project, he laid out all his sup­plies, turned on some music, and start­ed paint­ing in the most cheer­ful man­ner he could muster. He was care­ful­ly on the look­out for any gullible passers­by to engage in con­ver­sa­tion. It was all planned out in his mind: Passer­by: Whatcha doing? Clement (look­ing like he’s hav­ing the time of his life): Paint­ing a wall. Passer­by: Sor­ry you got­ta work. I’m going to the movies! Clement (astound­ed): You call this work? It ain’t every day a man gets to paint a wall like this! Passer­by: Well, it does look fun. Can I try it?  Clement (hes­i­tant­ly): I don’t know. This client is awful par­tic­u­lar. I’d best fin­ish it myself. Passer­by: Aw, shucks. Come on, let me try. I’ll give you my iPhone! And so it would go. Clement would sit back and watch oth­er peo­ple do his paint­ing, and he would col­lect an array of valu­able items in the process. In a stun­ning rever­sal of for­tune, Clement’s fool­proof busi­ness mod­el has been a com­plete fias­co. He had one child (his client’s daugh­ter) who trad­ed a mar­ble for the chance to paint, and end­ed up paint­ing the couch. Aside from that one inter­ac­tion, no one has tak­en his bait, and Mr. Clement has had to actu­al­ly learn to paint.