Elderly Painting Contractor Shocked to Find that "50 Shades of Gray" Is Not a Color Documentary

Lit­tle Rock, AR - After the local Block­buster stopped rent­ing VHS tapes, elder­ly painter Thomas Jones took to rent­ing DVD’s from Red­box. Last Fri­day, accord­ing to a con­fi­den­tial source, Mr. Jones scanned the avail­able titles, and chose ​“50 Shades of Gray,” plan­ning to watch it with his wife, Martha. It was­n’t the date night they had pic­tured… ​“Martha and I had been argu­ing about whether greige is a real col­or, and we thought this would set­tle it,” mused Jones, obvi­ous­ly shak­en by the expe­ri­ence. ​“I was hop­ing they would fea­ture my favorite shade of gray.” Martha con­fid­ed to us in a frail voice, ​“Tom has always been par­tial to Ocean Haze, and I love Gran­ite Cliffs, but they nev­er men­tioned either col­or.” ​“I can’t believe peo­ple watch this trash,” con­tin­ued Jones. ​“They nev­er even men­tioned that gray isn’t a real color!”